it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
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