her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
Randomize