so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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