Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
Randomize
