she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
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