i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
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