mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
Blow job season was short but glorious.
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
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