thus making me awesome and them whores
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Randomize
