I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
Randomize
