Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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