Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
