this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
Randomize