How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
