Your mouth is God's brothel.
i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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