He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
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