I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
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