Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Randomize
