You're a womanizer and a bitch.
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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