Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
Randomize
