R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
Randomize
