I hope mine doesn't look like that
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
Randomize
