no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
Randomize
