He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Randomize
