remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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