She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
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