I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
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