The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
Randomize
