I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
Randomize
