What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
Randomize
