I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
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