I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
Randomize
