my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
Randomize