then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
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