I like my sex mixed with concussions.
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Randomize
