fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
Randomize
