After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize