dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
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