i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
Randomize
