Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Randomize
