oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
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