you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
Fuck appropriateness.
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
I DEMAND FORESKIN
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Randomize
