Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
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