hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
Dear god my vagina.
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