They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
Randomize
