You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
Randomize
