i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
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