I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
