this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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