seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
Randomize
