I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
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