I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
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