I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
Randomize
