That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
Randomize
