In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Randomize
