There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Randomize
