I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
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