I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
The good news is that I can 100% reassure you that you did not get knocked up by some creepy Italian dude named Sal Manella last night.
The bad news is that you will never know the name of the guy who may have gotten you pregnant last night because he clearly gave you a fake name, sweetie.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
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