If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize
