my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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