I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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