I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Randomize
